Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Terrible idea I love it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
