woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize