By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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