Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
