And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize