i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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