meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
