Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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