just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
