I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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