Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
