I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Couch. On fire.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
