You really coming over, don't trick.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
