Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
