Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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