Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
