'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize