dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
