I've blown a few things in my day
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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