Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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