I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
