when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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