I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
