There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
