is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
