We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
