Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
