I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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