You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
