it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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