Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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