I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
