i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
