And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
