Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
