How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
