Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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