They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
