Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
