Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
