Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
