I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
