he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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