what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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