talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
