Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
