can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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