So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize