I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize