Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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