you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
