ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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