If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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