Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
