So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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