Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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