He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
