I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
