Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ate ashes out of my bong
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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