I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
