I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
