he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
