Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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