Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
