You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
