Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize