Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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