I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
