My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
