It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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